Recovery Is Possible. Cookies Are Forever.
At Cookie Recovery Group, we believe in celebrating progress — however fragile, temporary, or immediately undone by a surprise tin refill it may be.
Below are real (emotionally accurate) testimonials from members who have bravely walked the path of cookie exposure, restraint, relapse, and acceptance.
Names have been changed to protect the vulnerable.
“I Thought I Was Strong. I Was Not.”
— Dean, 11 Months Post-Tin
“At first, I told myself I’d only have one. Then I started breaking them in half ‘to pace myself.’ By day three, I was hiding the tin behind the cereal.
Thanks to Cookie Recovery Group, I learned an important truth: self-control is a myth when the cookies are this good. I’m at peace with that now.”
Status:
✔️ Functional
✔️ Honest
❌ Still checks the pantry just in case
“I Started Saving the Last One.”
— Lindsay, Holiday Exposure Survivor
“That’s when I knew I needed help. I wrapped it in foil. I moved it twice. I told myself it was for later.
Cookie Recovery Group taught me that ‘later’ is a dangerous lie. I ate it standing at the counter. I cried a little. Healing began.”
Status:
✔️ Acceptance achieved
✔️ Tin properly retired
✔️ Calendar reminders mysteriously set for December
“The Cravings Never Left — But Neither Did the Memories.”
— Art, Birthday-Only Authorization Recipient
“They warned me the effects could last up to 12 months. They were right.
But thanks to the program, I stopped asking for refills. I just casually mention my birthday now and let the universe decide.”
Status:
✔️ Boundaries respected
✔️ Expectations managed
❌ Still drops hints with alarming subtlety
“We’re Stronger as a Couple.”
— Anonymous, Joint Recovery Case
“After the first tin, we fought.
After the second tin, we created a spreadsheet.
Cookie Recovery Group helped us realize the problem wasn’t communication — it was scarcity. We’ve grown closer since accepting that refills are not guaranteed.”
Status:
✔️ Relationship stabilized
✔️ Spreadsheet retired
✔️ Mutual side-eye when cookies are mentioned
Alumni Reflections
Many graduates report the following long-term outcomes:
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Increased emotional resilience
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Improved patience around holidays
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Heightened appreciation for baked goods that aren’t as good
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A deep, spiritual understanding of the phrase “legendary things are not meant to be easily available”
Relapse rates remain high. We consider that normal.
Your Story Could Be Next
If you or a loved one has experienced:
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Uncontrolled joy
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Emotional attachment to a baked good
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Irrational optimism about future tins
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Or the belief that “asking again couldn’t hurt”
…know that recovery is not about avoidance.
It’s about acceptance, restraint, and waiting until the next authorized release.